New Year's Resolution - Get my stuff together

I am assuming that a New Year's Resolution is still valid 2 weeks into the New Year...

My husband and I related turning 30 to staring down the barrel of a gun (my friends who are already there, please do not be offended and don't laugh). Landon is turning 29 this year and I am turning 28. While those numbers feel so young to many, they are a bit frightening to us. I think its because when I thought of "30" it meant you had your "stuff" together so to speak. I don't feel like I have anything together. Maybe some of my 30-something friends can soothe my fears here.

I mean, its somewhat acceptable to be slightly broke, live without a plan, a schedule or goals in your 20's. Most of society is forgiving of the 20-something goofball who has nothing together but once you hit 30, its not cute, its sad and ridiculous. When I filled out those sheets of paper at 18 that said "Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?" I thought I would either have kids or a powerful career. I thought of a house, maybe a dog, a savings account, maybe even a minivan. I thought I would be assured of myself and confident. I thought I would be secure in my gifts, callings and passions. I thought I might have a hobby or two that I was good at. I thought I would have lots of young women wanting to be discipled by me- I thought maybe I'd lead Bible Studies and write books.

I don't really do all those things and I certainly don't do them all well. I don't feel confident of myself or my gifts. I am selfish a lot of days. I stink at saving money (but working on it) and we do need to buy a new car but I am totally happy with a civic that isn't breaking down. So maybe as we go our live expectations just adjust...

Well...its time to get my stuff together. Here are the general areas I am focusing on:

1. That whole relationship with God thing - I've had lots of excuses as to why I am not spending more intentional and consistent time with God in the last 5 years. It ends today. Stop being a whiner.

2. That whole money thing - we are keeping a budget. We are saving. We are giving more than last year. I am saying no to splurge items and looking at a bigger picture like children, cars and hard times.

3. That whole home business thing - Photography, makeup, design or whatever you call it L. Schott Artistry will do business this year. Its time to get educated, get organized and get myself out there and offer something from my creative brain to the world.

4. That whole fitness thing - I've progressively gained weight since I got married and it happens to all of us. I currently sit at the top threshold of over-weightedness (couldn't find the right word) for my height. I don't want to flirt with that line for a whole lot longer. With heart problems, diabetes and other health issues that are in my bloodline its time to say no to Wendy's and hello to veggies.

5. That whole kids thing - this is a tough one. Essentially I want to trust God, I want to hand over that psychotic control grip thing I have but it's really hard. So, the goal is not "We will have kids in 2011" the goal is: "We will intentionally pray for direction about children in our life this year. We will be filled with gratitude and hope. I will not be known as 'Mara' like Naomi but I will be glad and joyful again. I will not sulk when the 73rd person in my life says 'I'm pregnant' but I will rejoice at their miracle. And I will fight to believe and trust no matter what God's response to me is."

So this is where it starts. Stay tuned for updates in each of these areas. Today, I already started on my business plan. I organized most of my craft supplies and bought some desk organizers and I believe later today I am getting some shelves.

Happy New Year - Bring it.