Knitting!

So, I would love, to learn to knit. Many photographers shoot newborns with thick, wooly, knitted blankets. My favorite though is the hats. I found this amazing hat on Etsy:



So, today I am working on just a coffee koozie but then...who knows what else. And to anyone who doesn't know what Etsy is or is looking for a very unique gift for just about anyone and anything - go here! www.etsy.com

I'll let you know about my progress...

More dream stuff and this post is catharsis

The word "catharsis" always sounds like some cardiac condition to me. Anyway, I've had a bit of junk in my head and blogging has helped me in the past so here I am again.

I had a dream two nights ago that Landon and I bought a new house. It was a beautiful ranch-style sprawling 1 story with 5 or 6 rooms. I was "modern" but originally made in the 50's or 60's so a very cool "vintage modern" (I made my own oxymoron term!). I loved this house! I knew the house spread to the right where there were 3 bedrooms I think and then I went down an opposite hallway and was surprised to find another hallway to another wing and another 3 bedrooms!

Seems very normal huh...

I had 3 dreams like this just before I found out I was pregnant.

Now, with all my weird dreaming I rarely repeat. I had 3 dreams before I was pregnant that we bought a house and upon move in I found there was a whole new wing of the house I never knew about. One was an incredible workroom/ studio, one was a room filled with incredible antique Asian furniture and art and another was just more house-living room and kitchen and such. Now this...more bedrooms.

I don't know if this is an expression of where I want to be...or something God is telling me. The dreams before seemed random and weird and then made sense when I was pregnant so I thought it was God but now...that dream is back.

So, I don't really think I'm pregnant but that strange, visceral desire burns in me to have a family. I don't feel like I can explain it and I don't feel like it even makes sense. I know part of me has just given up, already, its silly but I do that to protect myself. I don't know where this is going, I don't know what we'll do, I don't know where God is leading and I have no idea how it will end. I've heard people say "If God told you the future and how your life would unfold you would freak out and run in the other direction"...I really hope so.

Kaitlyn Burke Shoot

Alright, the long awaited senior shoot finally came...and it was hot out there- I mean REALLY hot. So, thanks to Kaitlyn, her mom and Casi for just toughing it out.

I can say with this shoot there were a lot of creative ideas in my head but I discovered the HUGE gap between the image in my head and the image that I get in my camera. I have a lot to learn. But I told myself, we all have to start somewhere, right?

I am very grateful for Casi who also shot with me and between the two of us, we got some great images. Kaitlyn is also very pretty so it wasn't that hard. But here's a small look at 4 of my best shots.









I'm also playing around with what Casi and I's logo will be but we feel pretty solid about our name. It's playful because it's our nicknames, you see that it's a partnership of friends and it's unique.

So, at the end of this shoot I concluded that I have a lot to learn but- better to come to that conclusion than think you know everything and limit yourself. So, I will be pondering this shoot, learning from it and finding everything I can on photography...let the roller coaster ride begin.

Elizabeth McMann Shoot

So, this is my first Senior Portrait session and I learned a lot. We had to wait out the sun a bit but we made it. Eli was a great sport and we tried lots of things. I am glad it worked out for her and for me...she was so easy to shoot. And again, photographers, let me know your thoughts!

Andrew and Kelly Photo Shoot

So, here's the happy couple pre-wedding. We went downtown to shoot some "urban" shots which I think I really like. Photographers I welcome any helpful critique!

Dreams

So, some of you that know me know that I have very weird dreams. I have had war dreams, concentration camp dreams, fighting dreams, dreams that came true in reality and so on. This passed Memorial Day weekend I was greatly encouraged by a dream I felt was from Jesus and I find the more I think about it the more it's meaning becomes significant. So, here's what happened...

I was a normal sized person in a normal sized two story house (the normal will make sense, hold on) and there were all these little people, about 3 inches tall that lived in the house. These little people ruled me- they were my masters and I was their slave. They were nasty to me too. They said things like "You can't do anything right!", "You're so stupid, worthless." You get the idea.

I sensed so deeply in the dream believing them. I felt it was impossible for me to get out from under these little dictators. I couldn't imagine my life without their orders, their yelling- their telling me who I was. I felt in the dream I had just surrendered myself and truly though nothing could change.

There was a shift in the dream all of a sudden when I realized how big I was and that I could actually kill those things- not just stand up to them but kill them. So, with resentment and with a bit of fear I tried the first one. I threw him off a landing. Then I flicked another like a bug and then (and this is gross) I cut off another's head with a kitchen knife. And then all of a sudden all my little masters were dead and it was silent. I felt incredible! I felt free, excited, relieved, victorious, and then all of a sudden scared. I felt I didn't even know how to cope without these things running my life. I didn't even know what to do next- do I leave, do I stay, where would I go?

Just in the middle of those thoughts a little white barn owl came and sat on my shoulder. He had a sweet face and there was something so benevolent about him. I was still in defensive mode so I almost swatted him off but then something really loud in me said "NO! The owl means wisdom." Then a huge barn owl came and sat on a chair and then the whole house was flooded with owls.



I woke up so happy I almost cried but honestly having no clue how to realize I am bigger than my issues. So, I've been praying for that "aha" moment to realize and totally believe that Christ's death and resurrection are personally sufficient for me to overcome anything. And I have been asking God for lots and lots of wisdom - a flood of owls in my life.

Recently Landon preached from Romans 8 about a slave mentality or an adopted mentality. It has hit hard for me. I find I live more out of an attitude of trying to make God pleased with me (or at the very lease not mad at me) rather than embracing I have already been made his daughter. This theme of slavery or adoption runs deep in my veins and its a wrestle I feel I've had for a long time. It's strange how difficult it is to receive grace.

So, this dream has taken on new shape as I pray to overcome my "issues" but also pray to know my adoption, my unshakable place with God as a daughter and co-heir with Christ. And of course, lots and lots of "owls"...

Art Projects After

Woo Hoo!

Two of my projects are done thanks to Meghan Hammer, spray paint and a newly purchased nail gun! Not only are my new yellow frame and red chair cute in my house they'll be great for photo shoots. Meghan and I are Craft Queens.

So here's the after's:





So, the frame was just a picture I found in someone's trash and I repainted it, hung it on the wall and put a target picture in the middle.

The chair was also from the trash (I am starting to sound like a homeless person) and it took 2 chairs - 1 main chair and another for parts: new seat, new leg, screws and such. We had to cut through not one but TWO old fabrics to get to the center and I think we did a great job!







So, all in all so far I am really excited. Next is the stump- that should be interesting because I think it has termites!