Dreams

So, some of you that know me know that I have very weird dreams. I have had war dreams, concentration camp dreams, fighting dreams, dreams that came true in reality and so on. This passed Memorial Day weekend I was greatly encouraged by a dream I felt was from Jesus and I find the more I think about it the more it's meaning becomes significant. So, here's what happened...

I was a normal sized person in a normal sized two story house (the normal will make sense, hold on) and there were all these little people, about 3 inches tall that lived in the house. These little people ruled me- they were my masters and I was their slave. They were nasty to me too. They said things like "You can't do anything right!", "You're so stupid, worthless." You get the idea.

I sensed so deeply in the dream believing them. I felt it was impossible for me to get out from under these little dictators. I couldn't imagine my life without their orders, their yelling- their telling me who I was. I felt in the dream I had just surrendered myself and truly though nothing could change.

There was a shift in the dream all of a sudden when I realized how big I was and that I could actually kill those things- not just stand up to them but kill them. So, with resentment and with a bit of fear I tried the first one. I threw him off a landing. Then I flicked another like a bug and then (and this is gross) I cut off another's head with a kitchen knife. And then all of a sudden all my little masters were dead and it was silent. I felt incredible! I felt free, excited, relieved, victorious, and then all of a sudden scared. I felt I didn't even know how to cope without these things running my life. I didn't even know what to do next- do I leave, do I stay, where would I go?

Just in the middle of those thoughts a little white barn owl came and sat on my shoulder. He had a sweet face and there was something so benevolent about him. I was still in defensive mode so I almost swatted him off but then something really loud in me said "NO! The owl means wisdom." Then a huge barn owl came and sat on a chair and then the whole house was flooded with owls.



I woke up so happy I almost cried but honestly having no clue how to realize I am bigger than my issues. So, I've been praying for that "aha" moment to realize and totally believe that Christ's death and resurrection are personally sufficient for me to overcome anything. And I have been asking God for lots and lots of wisdom - a flood of owls in my life.

Recently Landon preached from Romans 8 about a slave mentality or an adopted mentality. It has hit hard for me. I find I live more out of an attitude of trying to make God pleased with me (or at the very lease not mad at me) rather than embracing I have already been made his daughter. This theme of slavery or adoption runs deep in my veins and its a wrestle I feel I've had for a long time. It's strange how difficult it is to receive grace.

So, this dream has taken on new shape as I pray to overcome my "issues" but also pray to know my adoption, my unshakable place with God as a daughter and co-heir with Christ. And of course, lots and lots of "owls"...